I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
