I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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