Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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