we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
