This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
