She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
