you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
