if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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