I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do vagina's smell?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
