it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
