This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
