Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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