A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
