Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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