I am in a vortex of obligation.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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