PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
