I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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