I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
