you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
