We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
