note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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