Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
