So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
