Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
