I'm drive I can fine osifer
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
