I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
