she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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