We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
