you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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