I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
