Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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