Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
