it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
