Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
