I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
