finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
