I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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