You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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