Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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