I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She even gives head with a lisp.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
