I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
