dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
