is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You smell like stripper and shame
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
