Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
