I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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