Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
