apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
