Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I can't turn off my feet"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
