Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
