so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
