I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
